[Sdpg] Towards Sacred Society, here is story from New Zealand of the Growth of a Community with Ecological DEsign and Committment

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http://www.context.org/PEOPLE/robina/tuiart.htm


The Life of Tui Community, Aotearoa/New Zealand


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Originally published in Creating Harmony: Conflict Resolution in Community
Copyright (c)1999 by Hildur Jackson

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Towards Sacred Society




by <../RMBio.htm>Robina <../RMBio.htm>McCurdy




INTRODUCTION

In this article I share from my own perspective about the character and 
qualities of Tui, and the forms we as a group use to deal with conflict: 
'preventive' in the way of social design, and 'emergency' in the way of 
crises management strategies. The strongest emphasis is on preventive 
measures. By sharing my experience, I hope to help minimise certain 
negative aspects of community development by other intentional community 
villages. It also offers inspiration and guidance, hopefully giving new 
projects the confidence to begin, and flagging communities the 
encouragement to change and move forward. Were other members of Tui to 
write on the theme of this chapter, each would come up with their own quite 
different expression of it. The uniqueness of each individual enriches our 
community. In my observation a group follows the same life stages as a 
living being:

Conception ideals, ideas, spiritual impulse;
Pregnancy nurturing the vision;
Birth launching into unknown territory, and the need for commitment via 
material means to sustain the newly born (e.g. money, labour, goods);
Walking venturing forth, putting down roots, physical expression;
Childhood unfoldment of original seed, modified by environmental influences;
Teenage years exploration, testing models, challenging structure, rebellion 
against established forms;
Adulthood re-evaluation, refinement, full responsibility, managing the 
initiative you have undertaken.

Adulthood has several maturing stages. I do not know how many years each 
stage takes. Although a cat, a dog or an elephant have similar stages of 
development, they all have different timing to reach maturity. In my 
observation, Tui has after 11 years, reached a stage of adulthood. We have 
stumbled our way through these stages, and learned so much along the way 
about how to live with each other with caring, honour, honesty and respect. 
Often our learning was painful, taking us down to granite bedrock and 
through molten fire. The outcome of our commitment to 'stay with the 
process' has meant that Tui has evolved into a healthy community organism 
respecting individual freedom; to nurturing relationships, maximising 
co-operation and minimising conflict.


ORIGINS

Tui Community is situated in Wainui Bay, adjacent to Abel Tasman National 
Park, in Golden Bay, Nelson Province, Aotearoa/New Zealand. This coastal 
land totals 150 acres, with a mix of rolling hills and flat arable land; 
clear, year-round streams of drinking water quality; and a valley of 
regenerating native forest. In 1996, Tui consisted of 22 adults and 18 
children, from 6 nationalities. Tui arose out of an holistic gathering in 
Nelson province in 1984, when a few of the 300 people present committed to 
continue the spirit of the gathering by forming an intentional community. A 
year from conception, and after three major meetings, several people rented 
a large farmhouse and moved housetrucks, housebuses and caravans onto the 
surrounding land. There we lived for a 'trial time' together, discussing 
community ideals, experimenting with financial systems, co-operative 
business ventures and collective childcare.

'Tui Land Trust', our legal entity, was formed during this phase. We used a 
specific participatory process to create and consolidate the aims and 
management method, which constitutes our legal commitment. Tui Land Trust 
is legally classified as a charitable trust for the broad purposes of 
landcare, holistic education and healing. The land is held in perpetuity 
for the purposes stated in the Trust deed, for future generations. There 
are no shares that can be bought and sold, and no individual land titles. 
This system of legal ownership and governance has saved us many times from 
the kinds of conflict we have seen arise in other communities which have a 
co-operative or a company legal entity. Such things as the fierce debating 
of the price of shares for new members, or having to quickly raise money at 
a high interest rate to pay out a member, can jeopardise the survival of a 
community. 'Unit Title', at the other end of the ownership scale, does not 
encounter this problem.

After nine months, when we felt ready to purchase land together and build a 
permanent community, we went through a visioning and commitment process, 
making written pledges of how much money each of us would personally 
contribute towards land purchase, and defining our requirements for quality 
and characteristics of land by drawing up a group mandala of essential and 
preferred features. We then wrote up our requirements, together with 
potential available purchase amount, and 'cast the net' for land within the 
Tasman Bays area. Three months later we had purchased land which met our 
criteria, and moved our mobile accommodations on.


SETTLEMENT AND LAND

Soon afterwards we drew up a broad zoning of the land for house sites, 
waterlines, waste disposal, food gardens and forest preserve, and submitted 
a 'Specified Landuse Departure' planning application to the local council 
for multiple dwelling status, within our District Scheme. During this time 
we launched a deliberate public relations campaign with local residents and 
business people to make ourselves known and visible, with the intention of 
countering any unsubstantiated resistance and alleviating phantom fears. 
Our first practical steps were to begin a large communal vegetable garden 
and to establish a kindergarten for our young children.

At this stage there was a lack of support from within the community for a 
holistic and integrated design of the land. Had we attempted a collective 
permaculture design, using participatory methodology, the very different 
underlying values held by members of our group with regard to land use, 
would have become glaringly obvious. Instead they surfaced in emotionally 
clouded ways through tasks and issues as they arose through time. We were 
in the roles of guardians and developers of this remarkable property, and 
we discovered that we had fundamentally different approaches to land 
management.

This varied from 'let the land take care of itself', from those whose 
motive was to live less stressfully in a beautiful natural environment, to 
'let's plan a long term land management strategy', from those who were 
committed to actively manage the land for the purposes of food and timber 
self sufficiency. These issues had not arisen before we actually moved on 
to the land. The outcome of this division was a strong tendency towards an 
anarchistic style of land management, typified by someone planting trees in 
places that would in the long term block sunlight from future house sites, 
and other people transplanting them; some people pulling out wildling pine 
seedlings because they were viewed as a weed encroaching on native forest, 
and some people banding together as a 'save the pine tree' group.

My perception is that at the core of the value conflict was 'my value 
system is right and yours is wrong'. The 'land managers' were considered 
synonymous with land developers = land rapers. The 'conservationists 
purists' were considered as unrealistic dreamers, who could hold their 
'leave nature unto itself' philosophy because they had the privilege of 
shopping at the supermarket and purchasing building timber from the timber 
merchants. This was in the early days, when we had little experience with 
conflict resolution and we were struggling to find our way together. Yet we 
sensed that unless we got down to the 'root', we could not manage to carry 
on living together. You could feel the fear. A few of us had experienced a 
form of open, honest and reflective group communication used by the Maori 
(indigenous people of Aotearoa/New Zealand) called whaikorero, which makes 
it possible for people with even vehemently opposing points of view to hear 
and accept each other to love and forgive. We decided to adapt this sacred 
protocol to our emerging Tui culture, and the 'Tuki' (outlined further on) 
was born.

We held a 'Tuki' around the issue of landuse and relationship with the 
land, and soon got down to the deep, underlying emotional issues. One of 
the issues I strongly remember coming up was the feeling of guilt and 
responsibility some carried from their colonial forefathers who basically 
stole land, branded it 'my property', then exploited and raped it. This, 
together with the contemporary image of the typical subdivision land 
developer who scapes off flora and fauna, then reshapes natural terrain 
into characterless soulless landscape, all for the goal of money. People 
expressed abhorrence to these attitudes to the land, and their current 
caretaking responsibility to do it right, to play a tiny part in redressing 
the balance, weighed heavily. Models were few and far between, and it was 
inevitable that we would become a model ourselves.

I share this detail as a caution not to judge too harshly nor to react too 
fast to take the care and time to discover what underlies people's 
attitudes. What I have described is the kind of typical polarisation that a 
group of people, particularly from very diverse backgrounds might strike. 
It is wise to address attitudes to land use before purchasing land 
together. Although most of us have now spent eleven years on the land, to a 
much lesser degree, this difference still lives with us at Tui today. We 
came from predominantly city backgrounds, and many of our members were 
relatively new settlers from other countries. Consequently, our collective 
experience in farming, and particularly within the ecological conditions of 
this country, was very limited.

We managed to work within the initial zonings we planned for our council 
application, and adapted as we learned more about microclimates and other 
environmental behaviour patterns. We have made mistakes aplenty, and 
learned a lot through time, from living and working closely with the land. 
We are now reasonably attuned. Commonly managed land is now the 
responsibility of the 'land group' to administer.

This group is composed of people who are actively engaged in specific areas 
of land management such as shelter belts, woodlot, nursery, stream and sea 
wall maintenance, roads and tracks, lease arrangements and farm machinery. 
They are autonomous, but guided by community policy, and require community 
consensus for major developments. Individual households are responsible for 
designing and implementing of the 'caretaking areas' around their own homes.


INFRASTRUCTURE

Currently there are 16 permanent owner-designed-and-built dwellings and 2 
mobile homes. Other major structures on the land are: a multipurpose 
community house, a craft workshop, barn, tool and implement sheds, two 
visitors' accommodations, a small counselling retreat and massage hut, and 
a community cultural/spiritual/education centre.

Energy sources are a combination of mains electricity, primarily for 
communal buildings and heavy machinery, and some solar energy for lighting, 
water heating and light appliances. The Tui Stream is our source for 
domestic water supply and gardens irrigation. Sewerage is taken care of via 
a centralised settling pond with wind, sun and micro-organisms as catalysts 
to break down the sludge. The liquid nutrient is sprayed onto a coppicing 
woodlot in a nearby field. It functions well, though some would prefer 
composting toilets, complemented with a reedbed greywater system, but too 
little was known or officially documented about these systems at the time 
of our sewerage application, and so they were not acceptable to our council 
health inspectors.


SOME PHYSICAL INFRASTRUCTURE KEYS

I uphold that for a community to become close socially, it is essential to 
have a reasonably central community house and a real plus to have communal 
washing facilities. In the Western world, if you want to retain 
individuality, I would caution against living in a communal housing setup 
even sleepouts with shared facilities such as kitchen and washroom, are 
likely to engage people in a lot of group process.

Another area of caution, from our experience at Tui, is communal ownership 
of tools and machinery. People have such different standards of use and 
maintenance, and different attitudes and knowledge about machinery. A 
co-ordinator who sets and monitors the standards is essential if you are 
going to do this. A special caution is chainsaws and vehicles. These are 
best to be personally owned, unless they are consistently checked and 
maintained by an experienced person, and the users have to pass a test to 
show that they are competent.


SOCIAL ORGANISATION

Tui has a steady stream of visitors, coming to experience community life 
for a short period of time. Most people are primarily interested in the 
social aspects of community living.

Of all the questions asked, by far the most common are around issues of 
human relationships within a close living context. As a reflection of 
'Western' society today, people are most concerned about individual versus 
communal rights, freedoms and responsibilities, and communication, conflict 
resolution, decision-making and leadership. Behind these concerns is the 
fear of losing ones individuality within the group, coupled with the 
realisation that group interaction and involvement is important for 
personal wellbeing.

These issues are at the forefront of our lives at Tui. We have worked 
continually on them over the years, both philosophically, and in 
experimenting with appropriate structures and guidelines to facilitate 
quality relating. I believe this area of endeavour to be Tui's greatest 
strength. The Tui Community Mission Statement, written in 1991, captures 
the essence of why we choose to live in community, "As a community living 
together, we are seeking wholeness through fulfilling relationships with 
ourselves, others and our planet.


MEMBERSHIP

In order to assume full rights and responsibilities for living at Tui, one 
needs to become a member of the Tui Land Trust, requiring a trial period as 
a resident in the Tui Community. Membership follows the following steps: 
short term visitor (up to 1 month); long term visitor (6 months); 
prospective member (up to 18 months); full member (after official election, 
for the duration of living on the land). Each applicant requires individual 
consideration. The procedure is common for all, but the conditions are 
flexible in order to meet individual needs. When a person applies to become 
a prospective member, they choose a 'facilitator', who guides them through 
the more formal aspects of living at Tui, whilst providing personal support 
where needed.

The staged membership process provides a way whereby members and non 
members have time to find out if living together works for them. Non 
members have the opportunity to discover if the culture, customs and 
philosophy of Tui are sufficiently aligned with their own, in order to 
invest their future with that group of people. Tui has specific 
requirements for moving through the various stages towards membership.


LEADERSHIP

Tui's leadership is non hierarchical, and there is no specific leader, 
neither political nor spiritual. Overall there is a respect for each 
other's skills and personal qualities, as we entrust each other with 
guiding the group in particular arenas of decision-making and action plans. 
As we encourage development of the whole person and mobility of roles, each 
person takes a turn at meeting facilitation, and people are encouraged to 
change roles of responsibility at least once a year. There is an overlap 
period for training of skills and learning of systems, as one person phases 
out and another phases in.

In recent years the role of the Trust Chairperson has expanded to include 
keeping an overview of the community wellbeing and Trust affairs on a 
regular basis, and bringing attention to any areas which are neglected, not 
respected, nor followed up. This has been an important development. It has 
noticeably improved Tui's functioning and inter-relationships and generally 
the community runs more smoothly.

For those of us being raised in the 'Western World', our conditioning 
towards fending for ourselves as individuals has been so strong, that it 
needs vigilance to counter that conditioning if one chooses a co-operative 
lifestyle. Unless it is implanted through upbringing, the pull to be 
separate and competitive can be so persuasive and unconscious, that it can 
destroy even the most well-intentioned of communities. I have seen many 
communities who began as idealistic co-operatives, gradually 'degenerate' 
into subdivision style nuclear households, where it has become difficult to 
live as neighbours because of unresolved differences causing bitterness.


LABOR

In the early days there was more informal labour pooling for communal 
tasks. We were at an excited, idealist, pioneering stage, and the economic 
support system gave many of us the time to put our energies into building 
up Tui. We were living in temporary accommodations, and the children were 
still very young. Input was based on trust and collective dedication of 
'the pioneers', with individual choice as to how much time you put in. The 
style was fairly anarchistic. In the longer term, this approach led to a 
wide difference in labour input. This became a contentious community issue, 
which gave rise to a 'Tuki' on the theme of labour input and community 
organisation.

As a result of this, we established a fairly efficiently organised system 
of specific roles and tasks needed to keep the place running smoothly, with 
teams or individuals for all areas of community and land maintenance. Now 
each person gives a similar amount of time input per week, a minimum of one 
day.

Each area has a job description put together by those workers and endorsed 
by the community. Jobs are: land maintenance, machinery maintenance, 
orchard, vegetable garden, food/kitchen/shop, services (water, power etc.), 
visitor co-ordinator, house co-ordinator/maintenance, other community 
buildings, administration (finance, secretarial), Tui T'mala building, 
sewerage pond and spray-field woodlot area. All teams are empowered by the 
rest of the community to make decisions, act, and run their finances as 
they see fit in the interests of us all. Freedom with responsibility and 
accountability is the keynote.

Development projects are done by everyone, working-bee style, under a 
co-ordinator. Additionally, we each take our turn at cooking the daily 
community meal, via a cooking roster, (one's turn comes around about one 
every three weeks). Each person has a specific house-cleaning job, which 
rotates every few months.

With our individual and group income earning activities, housebuilding or 
maintaining of caretaking area, plus family and personal interests, this is 
about all we can manage to give voluntarily to the community.


FINANCES

I believe that the greatest test of a community's spiritual alignment is 
how they deal with the financial realm. In my experiences of community work 
and life, this is where the most energy gets stuck, and the atmosphere in 
which a discussion takes place can easily become 'leaden'.

Already Tui had come far along the track to consensus around financial 
matters by deciding to purchase land under a Trust rather than Company 
structure, and declaring that the amount a person pledged to the Trust for 
land purchase be voluntary. This later changed to a guideline amount and 
proportion of an incoming members assets. Individual circumstances are 
taken into account when the incoming member meets with the finance group to 
discuss their contribution.

On a daily level, income earning is an individual's responsibility. Each 
month we all contribute a small amount to community and land management 
overheads and development, as well as for bulk food such as grains, which 
we do not grow on the land. Members earn their income in a diversity of 
ways, including outside wage-working, small businesses, government 
benefits, consultancies and products.

Our only business co-operative is 'The Tui Bee Balme Co-operative', a very 
successful community business which makes natural skin care and healing 
products, sold by mail order and direct marketing throughout the country. 
By lifestyle choice, most Tui people devote only half of the week to income 
earning. This allows time for family, community work and other pursuits. 
This is made possible by Tui members having lower financial overheads than 
individual property owners, primarily because the cost of land is shared, 
as well as facilities, machinery, rates, county services, and bulk food. 
Labour is voluntarily provided by community residents, and food is 
primarily home grown.

It is my opinion that for a community to function holistically on all 
levels, an essential ingredient is to have a form of income earning that 
ties people together. Of necessity this keeps people having to move forward 
as a group, as their 'food source' is bound in with evolving sustainable 
relationships.


MANAGEMENT AND MEETING

Each week we hold a two hour business and sharing meeting. It has rotating 
facilitation (generally one person will facilitate four to six meetings), 
and decision-making is by consensus. Diverse and creative methods are used 
as appropriate, to arrive at decisions efficiently and yet sensitively.

If a block to decision-making happens, the facilitator may call a time of 
silent reflection, or challenge the person or people who are holding on the 
agreement to share in depth what is behind their decision, and after that 
there may be further discussion as new information is brought to light, or 
the person may be asked if they are prepared to stand aside so that the 
matter can be actioned, although they may not agree with the decision. At 
times it is obvious that it is too premature to make a decision, in which 
case items are brought forward to a future meeting, allowing more time for 
digestion and/or further research. Items passed are recorded and usually 
empowered with a "ho!.

Similarly, if a person assumes a new position of responsibility they are 
actively empowered. At times we have used a specific technique: people rub 
together their palms, then hold up their hands, with palms facing towards 
the person to be empowered. This little ritual, which consciously focuses 
positive energy towards the one taking on the responsibility, is powerful, 
unifying and actively felt by the person. I believe that this act anchors 
the memory of support in all concerned if the going gets rough.

Small management groups are also empowered in a similar manner. Empowerment 
means that the person or group is actively given the trust to make 
decisions and act on behalf of the community. Only people practically 
involved in that area of work on behalf of the community, serve on these 
management groups. The groups are: finance, land, garden, technical 
development, building, community facilities, festivities. Before a group 
needs to work on an issue, broad policy has already been formed and 
endorsed by the community as a body. If it is an entirely new area, the 
group will bring it forward to the community for a policy decision, often 
with a proposal already formulated for discussion. Since we have adopted 
the small group and empowerment system, our community meetings are less 
unwieldy, less frustrating, not overloaded, more efficient, lighter and 
more fun.

Meetings typically begin with a circle of silence for 'getting ourselves 
present', at times taking the form of a brief guided meditation, followed 
by acknowledging each other's presence. Meetings traditionally end with a 
circle of silence, for reflection, completion, and possibly a song which 
often captures the mood of the meeting. Each meeting reserves a personal 
'sharing spot', which is booked in advance on the agenda sheet. This is a 
space for a person to openly share about things that are happening for them 
which they want the whole community to know about, often to do with a shift 
in life direction. Usually there is no decision-making component, rather an 
atmosphere of support. Sharing topics cover such themes as children, 
relationships, work, health, finances. A person may request, or be offered, 
support outside the meeting time in a particular way. This can either take 
the form of quiet 'in principle' support from the community for a major 
life direction shift, or input/suggestions as to how to tackle a problem 
they aren't able to manage alone (such as a difficulty arising with parenting).

Once a month a part of the meeting is devoted to issues which concern Tui 
children, and all children, from the youngest to the oldest, are present. 
This is an opportunity for children or adults to bring forward proposals or 
problems which need total community input, or to report on particular 
progress or events. Typical items would be outings, funding for a 
children's item, serious behavioural difficulties, community sports events. 
At times it can be overwhelming for children to speak out in a big group. 
In these instances one or two adults of the children's choice would meet 
separately with the group of children, and report back to the meeting.

We have formally elected officers of the Land Trust, but as all members of 
Tui are Trustees, our Trust meetings happen within our community meetings, 
one precedes the other, and separate minutes are kept. It is easy to 
determine which is Trust and which is community business, although this was 
not the case in the early days. Our only separate Trust meeting these days 
is an SGM to elect a new member, or an AGM to do financial review and 
planning, and to elect officers. The AGM is also a celebration of the 
completion of another year together.


CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Conflict resolution per se is a process needed 'at the end of the line'. 
Conflict does and will happen in any group, so learning ways to deal with 
it is vital to the life of a group. It arises because of lack of honesty, 
differences in habits, lifestyle and values, projections and reflections, 
and inappropriate structures to meet the needs of a particular group. 
Providing ways to deal with these areas significantly minimises conflict. 
If the group does not have agreed mechanisms to deal with conflict, the 
tension that builds up, spoken or unspoken, inevitably brings about 
distancing. The imploded energy created by denial is likely to destroy the 
group eventually.

In my observations and experience, groups which have not upheld personal 
growth as a prerequisite for group growth and prosperity, have ultimately 
destroyed themselves. Conversely, if the group's members have a 
self-centred approach to personal growth, the group's growth will be 
seriously stunted, although it may have the illusion of appearing healthy 
upon initial contact.

There is a strong caution here for the New Age movement, where the right 
jargon can make it look as if people are being accepting, understanding, 
adaptable and responsible, whereas underneath another personal agenda is 
going on. e.g. making 'I' own/accept statements when the underlying tone is 
'you' are to blame. The privileged society has become so sophisticated at 
using the communication styles learned through higher education and 
transpersonal workshops, that these 'underground streams' are often 
unconscious. At Tui we are not absolved from this tendency. Our collective 
commitment to giving feedback and 'speaking our truth', helps to minimise 
the exercising of this somersault psychology.

Personal growth is an important aim of all of us at Tui, and because of 
this, the approaches outlined here work for us. If personal growth is not 
one of your group's common aims, you may need quite different approaches. 
For instance, ones which deal with issues purely at a structural level in 
order to function. However, with singularly structural approaches, the 
issues will still be there instead they can be side-stepped and repressed, 
and may fester then take another form. If your group is determined to avoid 
intimacy (getting below the surface), the 'structural solution' will 
probably be your approach. The result will tend to be a hierarchical, 
inflexible power structure, and rigidly defined roles.

All prospective members and members of Tui make a commitment not to walk 
away from conflict. If requested, a member, small group, or, if necessary, 
the whole community, can be supportive in conflict resolution. We have 
learnt, and continue to learn useful communication skills to help us move 
and grow through these times. We expect children, as well as adults, to 
deal with conflict constructively.

The following is our agreement around conflict:
"If a major conflict arises between two members, or between one member and 
the rest of the community, and they are unwilling or unable to resolve it, 
the situation is unacceptable to Tui. A community meeting shall be called 
by any resident member in order to work towards resolution. It is required 
that both members attend. More than one meeting may be necessary. If no 
satisfactory progress is made, an outside facilitator, acceptable to the 
members in conflict, will be invited, and a further attempt made."




COMMON AGREEMENTS FOR DAILY LIVING

At the beginning of our time on Tui land, after a year of our experiences 
of living together, the Common Agreements document was drawn up. Although 
it is useful as a reference, as a community we generally felt that the 
discussion and decision-making about the issues raised is more vital than 
the document itself. However, I would strongly recommend for any group 
coming together to get clear on boundaries around behaviours which affect 
their daily lives. It is surprising how different seemingly insignificant 
personal attitudes and behaviours can have a major impact on people who 
share territory. It is useful to have these things out in the open early 
on, to avoid 'battles' or imploded resentments. It is also a useful 
guideline as to whether or not you can live together.

Common Agreement themes are different to those which appear in a legal 
document for land ownership or caretaker-ship, although some may overlap. 
The following headings constitute our Common Agreements document: meetings 
(procedures and rules), organisational and administrative responsibilities, 
personal growth and relationships, work (community workload, gender roles 
in work), visitors, children, employment, religion, medicine/healing, 
trees, animals, tools and machinery, vehicles, media (radio, hi-fi, 
television), noise level, food, drugs, chemical sprays, nudity, violence, 
conflict resolution. A few diverse examples are:

Religion the community provides for freedom of choice of religion or 
spiritual path.
Vehicles are to be kept in allocated vehicle parking areas. Internal roads 
to be used for utility purposes only (i.e. to drop off and pick up goods).
Gender Roles
in Work we encourage the sharing and teaching of work skills not previously 
learned because of our backgrounds of role stereotypes and gender 
inequality in the workplace. Note: In reality this transference has mostly 
been one way -- with the men teaching the women skills such as building and 
tractor driving.

At Tui, new agreements are made and written up as issues arise which need 
some clear and committed position from the group. These common agreements 
set a standard for members. They govern communal areas only, where they are 
taken seriously, honoured, and strictly adhered to. It is important to note 
that these rules are not 'top-down' dictated, they are decided and agreed 
upon by all of us, for the sake of minimising stress and optimising 
harmony. Nowadays it seems that protocol is sufficiently established in Tui 
daily life for visitors and intending members to pick it up by observation 
and osmosis. Tui is not about oppressing individual freedom, depriving 
people of their needs, or forcing personal growth. People's homes are their 
own domain where they freely determine their own standards. Generally, 
there seems to be little variance between individual standards and communal 
standards.


EMOTIONAL MANAGEMENT

Tui's mode tended towards crisis management before we faced the fact that, 
as individuals and as a community, we needed to do something major about 
taking responsibility for our own realities. This has meant learning to own 
our mental attitudes and emotional states of being rather than attributing 
cause or blame to others. Ultimately it amounts to taking 100% 
responsibility for our inner and outer worlds creations and reflections, 
responses and reactions. There is a lot to say on this, and I would refer 
anyone wanting to investigate deeper, to search in personal growth and 
healing literature.

When, through various teachers and workshops, we increasingly began to take 
full responsibility for our belief systems and strengthened commitment to 
actively bring about change, the way we related to each other and dealt 
with differences, shifted remarkably. Instead of arguing, backbiting, 
repressing, 'putting each other down', or 'dumping' on each other, we 
listened, considered and valued each other's perspective. This was not and 
is not always so. Taking full responsibility requires vigilance and 
constant practice and behoves feedback to keep on track. The more support 
and positive feedback from life itself there is, the less effort it takes, 
and this way of seeing the world and relating with others becomes natural. 
The learning never stops.

In my experience, as I unravel the immediate and gross level makeup of my 
belief system, space is created for the more subtle beliefs to come to 
light. These seem to be carried intergenerationally and are culturally 
embedded. In an international community, these culturally ingrained 
unconscious attitudes will play into how we interact with each other, and 
will colour our viewpoints.

The introduction of Domain Shift philosophy and technologies to some of our 
members (via workshops) had a significant influence on our community's 
growth. Domain Shift is about quantum leaps rather than incremental change, 
and aims for nothing less than personal and societal transformation the 
creation of Sacred Society bringing sacredness into the most profane 
activities and the most superficial relationships.

Whereas many transpersonal psychotherapies focus on the mental and 
spiritual levels, or depend on other people to stimulate and support an 
individual in the process of change, Domain Shift focuses on the physical 
and emotional, through to the mental and spiritual. It begins with the 
information that our neurology hold the keys to our makeup, and one needs 
to 'rewire' unbeneficial connections, initially by creating a lot of 
energetic space through movement and emotional release. Space is then 
opened up for looking clearly at belief systems which cripple us in 
activating our potential as humans, and changing these into beneficial 
beliefs through an affirmation process. I have stated the approach of 
Domain Shift simplistically and in my own understanding. There are many 
strings to its bow, resulting from intensive research into, and integration 
of the best of personal growth tools, backed by the evidence of 
contemporary psychology and science.

By individuals in their own right practising the techniques for emotional 
management and transformation, it has become acceptable and supported as a 
part of everyday life, for people at Tui generally to release an 'emotional 
charge' they may have around an issue, in open space with minimum effect on 
others. No-one need ever know what it was about or become involved in that 
person's process at all. This makes our relating so much freer, and opens 
up space for quality, rather than being bogged down with each other's dramas.

A couple at Tui now teach this technology, and have added to it a process 
they call 'Quality Circle', a more still and reflective process of training 
to become fully present in the moment. Tui has greatly benefited from 
Quality Circle also. More recently, Tantra has been introduced to most 
people at Tui, and three people now run workshops in this throughout the 
country. Although the expression of Tantra which is the transmutation of 
sexual to spiritual energy, thus far happens within monogamous partnerships 
at Tui, I experience the personal growth that has occurred through Tantra, 
enhancing the quality of intimacy between all of us, in a sacred and 
respectful way.




TOOLS AND TECHNIQUES FOR GROUP CLARITY WITHIN A MEETING

Hand Gauging

The use of the hand as an indicator, on a gradient of one to ten, about 
where a person stands on an issue. People stay where they are, and the 
facilitator asks for a hand gauge, with 0 being the ground level and 10 
being as far as the arm can stretch. People can also indicate with their 
hands where they are on a feeling level around an issue, by showing a 
steady hand for firm and clear, to a wobbly hand for unsure. Hand gauging 
gives an instant readout of where a group is at. It shortcuts a lot of 
discussion or guides the discussion in the necessary direction. It is a 
useful tool for us.

Sociogram

A sociogram is a more sophisticated version of hand gauging. It is useful 
to find out about the range of behaviours, values and attitudes within a 
group. The facilitator lays out written or verbally indicated numbers from 
1 to 10 along the floor in a straight line. People then assemble themselves 
along that line, depending on where they stand on a particular issue. For 
example, on an issue of diet, vegans might stand at one end, and carnivores 
at another, with others placing themselves along the continuum. >From then 
on there are a lot of options for everyone simply to note the pattern, for 
people at various places along the continuum to talk with each other about 
their position etc. A most interesting aspect is the finding of one's 
position, by finding out where and why others have placed themselves where 
they have. Again, the position of the group is made clear, and areas in 
need of discussion become focused.

Role Reversal

If two people are attached to their different points of view, and their 
attitudes are holding the group up from moving forward, the facilitator may 
suggest that they come into the centre of the circle and reverse roles 
several times, to 'stand in the other person's shoes' and have a better 
understanding of their position. In our experience this frees people up 
from being locked in their standpoint, and enables people to shift, usually 
closer to each other.

Contemplation

Going into introspective silence is an appropriate thing to do when there 
is an issue which is at a deadlock, or when a debate has become 
sufficiently heated that the group can no longer function effectively. 
After the silence, usually for only a few minutes, people will share any 
insights they have with the group, and they are taken as an important 
contribution. Silence for this purpose has always proved invaluable to us 
at Tui. It is not uncommon for people to have similar or complementary 
insights, which are a completely different angle on what has been discussed 
beforehand, and for a decision to arise clearly and swiftly after a 
contemplative silence.

Visual Aids

Specially charts and graphs are invaluable for keeping track of a meeting, 
recording the thread and thrust or simply group decisions. The forms they 
can take are only limited by the imagination, and can be designed to meet 
the need of the particular issue. We use all sorts, from straight recording 
on large newsprint paper in mindmap or list form, to bar graphs done on 
computer, to coloured counters placed on the ground, as indicators of group 
progress.

Biographies

A biography is a life story of key people and events which have influenced 
who a person is today. It is, to me, a very important technique in bringing 
about intimacy. Learning about people's backgrounds helps us to understand 
why we have such individual differences. A common outcome of biography 
sharings is acceptance and appreciation. They require time, genuine 
interest and listening patience of a group to make the commitment 
worthwhile. At Tui we have begun to use this tool, but did not follow 
through, because we were unable to honour the time it took to be of high 
value. In Anthroposophical (Rudolf Steiner) initiatives, biographies are 
considered an important tool as a forerunner for staff to begin working 
together. They have a particular approach, and I would recommend getting a 
facilitator from this movement to at least start a group off with biography 
sessions.

Tuki

Tuki stands for Tui Community Integration a word coined by a Tui wordsmith. 
A 'Tuki' is an oratory 'heart sharing circle' process, which we have 
adopted and adapted from the Maori whaikorero and American Indian tribal 
council. Its purpose for us is to go deeper into the family, cultural and 
historical conditioning and values which underlie emotional and attitudinal 
blocks, to us as a group, making aligned decisions and defining collective 
direction. It also serves to renew inspiration and therefore commitment. 
Tuki are usually held when we get stuck in a way which hinders our positive 
progress as a group. This is when mistrust and misunderstandings build, 
when differences create separation, when we loose sight of loving over 
divisive community issues.

Tuki often facilitate major structural and organisational changes, which 
realistically reflect and update where we are at as a group. The result is 
that the structure serves us, rather than us being servants of the 
structure. To me Tuki is a fundamental cornerstone of Tui's social system. 
Without them we could be living with a lot of misunderstandings, mistrust 
and alienation. Tuki is one of the most powerful methods of conflict 
resolution. This tends to happens indirectly, within the Tuki process, and 
as an outcome of it. A Tuki can take place with any size group. Limiting 
factors to be aware of, are the audibility of people's voices, and how long 
people can sit without going for a pee!

At Tui, our Tukis centre around a theme or issue which is 'up' for us, 
sometimes stated as a question. We are aware of the theme for several weeks 
in advance, and we have time to reflect about it, take it into our dreams, 
research it, talk about it with others. A Tuki generally happens for two 
days, including the evening in between. It can happen for longer, but it is 
inadvisable to plan for shorter, because there is insufficient time to 
reach and sustain the depth as a whole group. In the 'old times', when the 
children were small, we used to all bring our sleeping bags and sleep 
overnight in one room. The children still fondly remember those times when 
they were bathed in the essence of community.

It is important that everyone is present, as it is almost unavoidable that 
the group will have a 'paradigm shift', and it is difficult for a person 
being left behind to be integrated later. A consequence is that the absent 
person may be holding on to old stuff and be thinking in outmoded ways, 
that no longer fit with the evolved group.

A Tuki works like this: two facilitators, usually one male and one female, 
guide the process, and 'hold' and monitor the group energy as it proceeds. 
They are like pillars of a building, who uphold the physical and energetic 
structure to provide a space for sacred ritual. There is a 'talking stick' 
which is picked up from and returns to the centre of the circle by the 
person who speaks. A person only speaks once, and everyone is strongly 
encouraged to speak. If time has been created for it, there may be a second 
'round'. People are free to communicate in their own way, so long as they 
respect the circle, and do not 'dump' on another person, or respond 
directly to another. This is a time for sharing what matters to you 
personally, however it may come. This may include few words and a span of 
silence, vocally expressing emotions, sharing gems of spiritual wisdom, or 
addressing the 'nuts and bolts' of an issue.

The Tuki offers us spiritual inspiration and a strong sense of the pulse of 
the whole community around an issue, at the deepest level. It is important 
not to leave it there. To bring what we have learned into the realm of 
active change, we use a different process. It requires prepared 
facilitation and a rational, clear thinking mind. At the completion of the 
Tuki, the facilitators may get together and, based on what they have heard 
and felt, formulate a proposal, strategy or items, to take through a formal 
consensus style community meeting. This is done reasonably close to the 
completion of the Tuki, so as not to lose momentum. The focus is on action 
plan, followed by implementation.

This approach has never failed us. It has brought about monumental changes 
at Tui, always for the good of the whole. For example, our labour and 
financial structures at Tui have radically changed as the result of a Tuki, 
and now reflect our 1996 group composition rather than adhering to 
structures which did not serve the majority of current members.

Note: It is not appropriate for other groups to use the word 'Tuki', as it 
is specifically coined for the needs of our group. The international 
generic form, as used in 'Heart Politics' gatherings, is called a 'Heart 
Sharing Circle'. I would advise other groups to modify the form according 
to their culture and customs.


SOME SOCIAL KEYS

Amongst many of the major areas to discuss openly and honestly in order to 
form community policy and practice on, I believe that the most important 
are: financial input, labour for communal projects, collective income 
earning, population growth, childraising, diet and communal cooking, 
sexuality, and the use of social drugs and alcohol. Of course, the reality 
is often different from the theory, and one's stance today can change 
tomorrow, but it is important to have accord initially, to know that it is 
worth investing in living together. (Check other categories under 'Common 
Agreements for Daily Living'.)

Clarity is also needed to determine how intimately your group wants to live 
and become intertwined. The goal-setting process mentioned in the following 
section covers this. Basically there are a cross-section of village models, 
globally, ranging from kibbutzim (most communal) to strata title or company 
subdivision-style (least communal). It entirely depends on how the village 
is designed physically and socially. The need to communicate and co-operate 
can be built in or not in the way the village functions. For example, it is 
possible to have a land manager paid by the village, so that people do not 
need to work together on the land but this choice will inevitable have its 
own effect on the local environment and the community who lives there. 
Materially, choice will primarily depend upon the level of financial 
involvement, and style of land and home ownership that people want, and the 
size of land each household desires.

Were I to begin afresh with what I know now from experience, I would do 
four things as a group before committing to land purchase:
    * A training in conflict resolution, meeting facilitation and consensus 
decision-making.
    * Holistic participatory goal setting (see below).
    * A course in permaculture design to provide common principles and 
methodology from which to observe, and subsequently design, the land in 
order to meet group needs, with sensitivity to the local environment.
    * A trial project (such as the creation of a permaculture design 
supported by the local council and its implementation of school or hospital 
grounds) in which no one in the group had a vested interest. This would be 
for the purpose of testing, in microcosm and telescoped time, how the group 
works together, involving such things as leadership hierarchy, group 
decision-making ability, financial management and the practical application 
of ideals.



Participatory Goal Setting

Through our experiences of working with permaculture in Africa, a colleague 
and myself have developed a simple participatory process of group 
decision-making, inspired by a process called 'Holistic Goal Setting', an 
aspect of 'Holistic Resource Management' researched and taught by Alan 
Savory. Our approach also draws from Participatory Rural (or Rapid) 
Appraisal. I only want to mention it briefly here, because it is a step by 
step process in its own right, and it is not yet something we have used at Tui.

This process begins with values. It offers an effective way of guiding and 
recording group processes and focuses on what members of a group have in 
common, yet differences quickly show up. It has the potential for lots of 
fun and is strongly action oriented. If we had had tools like this 
available to us in our initial stages at Tui, I believe that we would have 
shortcut our unwieldy development or maybe we would have split or some 
people would have left? Another member's viewpoint is that a group can only 
set goals when it has worked through its 'stuff' to become aligned.

Parenting

To me, growing up in an extended family is the biggest plus of all aspects 
of community life. The children are surrounded by many role models and 
styles of parenting. At Tui a child is ultimately under the care of his or 
her blood parents in all respects, and yet every single adult in the 
community develops their own form of relationship with each child, 
including discipline and guidance. They form natural affinities with 
different adults besides their parents, to whom they go to for nurturing 
and support. The importance of this is evident at Tui as our children enter 
teenage years. Children grow up with others of all ages, who become like 
brothers and sisters, just as in a bloodline extended family.

Community life is extremely supportive of parents. They are not isolated in 
the home; the environment is safe for small children to roam and explore 
without supervision; there is the emotional and physical support of other 
parents. There is the opportunity to work co-operatively with other adults, 
pursue your interests, and still be in close contact with your children. As 
is the case at Tui, community living provides scope for parents whose 
relationships change, and who choose to part ways, to live separately on 
the same property and co-parent with a minimum impact on the child 
emotionally or physically.

I want to outline what for me is a healthy progression from dependence to 
independence of children to their parents. This true scenario is made 
possible because of the unique nature of community life. Kaj and Zora are 
twins who live at Tui. They came to live at Tui when they were three years 
old. Their parents had already separated, but decided to live on the same 
land for the sake of the children, and because they wanted to keep in 
contact and desired the same lifestyle. When the twins were young they 
lived with their mother, and saw their father every day. At primary school 
age, they spent three months living in each parent's house. At early teens 
they each had a caravan, and lived nearby their parents houses, one girl 
near each parent. Every three months, they swapped location with each 
other, the tractor towing their caravans from one location to the other. 
Now they are in their mid teens, their caravans are close together, near 
the community house, and away from their parents. They are autonomous in 
every sense, managing their own budget, cooking and washing for themselves. 
They have amiable relationships and plenty of contact for both parents. I 
consider them to be reasonably well adjusted teenagers.

Seasonal Celebrations and Rituals

As we live close with the land and choose to deepen our relationship with 
nature, we come together to celebrate and honour the change of the seasons, 
at solstice and equinox. A few people prepare an appropriate ritual, with 
inclusion of the children where appropriate. We customarily begin our 
gardening working bees with some form of attunement and thanksgiving to the 
land. Our daily community meal begins with a circle and blessing song.

Men's and Women's Gatherings

The women (regularly) and the men (occasionally) meet in their own groups 
separately to share in sacred ways on the full moons. We hold men's and 
women's gatherings concurrently as a national event during the summer. 
These take various forms, and are held for the purpose of sharing and 
support for each other in ways which we simply can not get from members of 
the opposite sex. I can only really speak for the women. Our gatherings 
range in nature from cultural events, to sharing life stories, to honouring 
life stages, to sharing about sexuality, to participating in a 
Goddess-focused ritual, to opening the space for emotional support, to 
massaging each others feet. To me they are a very important aspect of life 
at Tui. The bonding with my sisters is precious to me.

A core group of men and a core group of women, host men's and women's 
national gatherings annually, for around 35 people per group for up to one 
week. They are held at the same time, on Tui and neighbouring land. There 
is a 'runner' from the men's and from the women's core group to update 
daily about intended programme locations, so that the groups do not 
intersect. We view this as important, as we do not want the growth process 
we are experiencing as men and women, to be distracted by chance encounters 
with the opposite sex. We are embarking on a deep healing and sacred 
journey into knowing ourselves as men and as women, of having the support 
of those of the same sex to look at, process and resolve issues that are 
unique to each sex, and what it means to relate to each other beyond all 
the conditioned facades, pseudo-self and games that we have learnt in order 
to avoid intimacy and being real.

On the last two days we come together as men and women, in what we warmly 
call, 'the merge'. During these two days we spend times together and apart 
as one group, yet always staying at our own camps. We initially come 
together in silence, showing each other who we are in our vulnerability 
while at the same time in our power. The first meeting has been a very 
sacred moment, and an honouring of the universal man and the universal woman.

The oratory waikorero (essence of heart circle sharing process) that 
follows is insightful for both sexes to understand, appreciate and accept 
each other on a new level.

I believe that these gatherings play their small part in creating a new 
paradigm of men and women to relate with each other, and I believe that the 
healing is inter-generational. I have been beneficially changed by them and 
it is a deep and lasting change. It is worthwhile to write an entire 
chapter, maybe book, on these gatherings! I hope that some day someone 
will. The healing of relationships between men and women is essential for 
world peace.


SPIRITUAL BASIS

It is difficult to define our spiritual basis because it is so interwoven 
in how we live our lives, our relationships with each other, the land we 
are guardians for, and our planet generally. The closest names may be Deep 
Ecology or Earth-Centred Spirituality. We do not adhere to any dogma or 
religion. We embody New Age, but could not be defined as that, as we 
acknowledge all chakras as sacred and valid, not just the 'higher' ones.

We bring spirituality into physicality in a tangible way through our 
relationship with each other, the earth, and our work. We encourage humour, 
passion for life, and dropping addictions, both substance and behavioural. 
As a community we encourage a vegetarian diet, and strongly discourage 
drugs. A vital part of our spiritual growth is that we commit to clear, 
honest communication and feedback, and taking responsibility for our 
emotional energy (e.g. anger) rather than 'dumping' on each other.

We are by no means holier than those who have not made conscious choices to 
do these things in their lives. It is just that by choice we are willing to 
heal our wounds and become more whole. Collectively, we believe that this 
is fundamental to the creation of a sustainable society, and we want no 
less. Community life accelerates this opportunity many-fold.

Be honest with yourself about whether you are ready for this challenge 
before you embark on any community venture! Well known author, Scott Peck, 
has defined that to get in touch with true community we go through the 
stages of pseudo-community and then chaos. We at Tui have surely done that 
and we are richly rewarded. I encourage you to hang in there should you 
take the plunge!


PHILOSOPHICAL REFLECTION

Personally I find living in community fulfilling and stimulating, 
sustaining. I have sometimes heard intentional community referred to as 'a 
social experiment'. Yet for me it is 'the norm', with the current 
Western-lifestyle norm of the socially isolated nuclear family being the 
social experiment! Through life at Tui I am rediscovering what I believe to 
be a natural social pattern encoded within the genes, as basic as an 
animal's instinct. I believe that in us this pattern is overlaid by 
conditioning generated from fear of intimacy, and separation from our Earth 
Mother. I am fascinated that as I discover about other land-based 
intentional communities around the planet that have been operating for some 
time, I find that they have developed similar customs to ourselves, even 
down to some fine details. There are essential patterns in leaves and 
water-flow, so it is feasible there are God-given blueprints for human 
settlement, regardless of how sophisticated we think we have become. It is 
simply a matter of uncovering the clutter.


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All contents copyright (c)1999 by Hildur Jackson

Last Updated 30 September 1999.

URL: http://www.context.org/PEOPLE/robina/tuiart.htm

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